Drowning in my Sleep Again

Drown: to die through submersion in and inhalation of water.

Sleep: when the nervous system becomes inactive.

 

The dream is always the same.

First there are the lights, pink, green, blue, beams of neon cutting through the darkness accompanied by an occasional burst of white. It is quite beautiful.

Then there are the spheres, mercurial, drifting away towards a distant silver shimmer.

As I watch them contentedly, I have the realisation that something is not quite right.

I do not know where I am. I do not know what is happening. I do not know what the lights are.

Yet it is comforting.

I float for a while, pondering. To panic or not to panic?

I know that some things are worth fighting for and, conversely, that some things are not.

I wonder which this is.

Did I mention it is warm? I like the warm.

I wonder if I am breathing. I wonder if I am crying. I cannot tell.

I feel both constricted and free. Thoughts of panic rise again.

I want it to last forever and to end. Now. But neither happen.

Instead I float and watch. My mind clears.

The bubbles stop.

The lights disappear.

The white flashes fill my vision.

And I wake up.

 

 

 

© JR Bryden, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from JR Bryden is strictly prohibited.

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